When the Body Rebels: Finding Wholeness in the Breakdown
How kidney stones, cataracts, and stubborn BMI taught me that wellness isn’t perfection—it’s presence
WHAT: The Medical Storm
This week, my annual checkup delivered a triple blow:
- Kidney stones recurring—another shockwave procedure needed.
- Cataracts clouding both eyes—lens replacement imminent.
- BMI stubbornly at 25, despite disciplined efforts
And to top it all, I am hit with a mild case of flu leaving me with a very bad cough!
For a moment, frustration surged. At 66, my body feels like a fully depreciated car! LOL As an advocate and activist for wholistic health and wellbeing I call “whew,” the shame whispered: "You’ve failed." I felt the old pull—anxiety’s undertow threatening to drag me under.
I have also somehow found “labels” and “boundaries” that emphasize differences - in religious beliefs and practices- rather than commonalities and shared meaning too constricting. In fact, I believe that if we only focus on the shared contemplative practices of different religions, and apply even a fraction of these in our daily lives, we will not have the war and conflict we are seeing in the world today that may at any time lead to collective self-annihilation.
Am I too naive? I argue not. Because when I sit in silence and stillness, and recognizing whatever is emerging in the present moment, I know in a strange yet powerful way that I am one with all. And somehow, no matter what is going on in my life, I am inherently and powerfully A-OK! I have nothing to fear. It is that state of mind that leads to insight - seeing reality as it is. These daily sits help me become more resilient in the face of life’s many challenges. And guide me with clarity and peace how I might skillfully navigate crisis after crisis, and the darkness that I feel at times envelops the world.
This is the core of all wisdom traditions:
Contemplation—the silent, still center where we touch what mystics call the "Ground of Being."
“In silence, we meet the language God spoke before creation." (Meister Eckhart)
SO WHAT: The Breath That Anchored Me
Then, I remembered:
1. The body scan
From crown to toes and back a few times, exhaling tension in every scan. With each breath, cortisol loosened its grip—neuroscience confirms this.
2. The laugh that broke the spell
I feel like a fully depreciated car!! The absurdity struck me. I laugh! In that laughter, spaciousness bloomed and a soft whisper: "This too belongs."
3. Gratitude’s alchemy
My thoughts pivoted:
Three radiant adult children (Ro, Asia, Amico) and my 92 year old father - Gil- whom I love dearly
Work that flows like "effortless effort"
The Super 7 team (Amico, Ferdz, Fida, Joyce, Juan, Liz, Myda) with adjunct SWAT-like support in Jessica and Wendy, and a genuinely caring TLC community
The TLC Solution’s growing legacy—from Talent/Leadership/Change to authentic “Tender Loving Care” for humanity
I have so much to be grateful for! Yes, I embrace the reality that is “my” life- 6 decades characterized by sturm und drang, a number of times leading to self-annihilation. Well, almost. I am still very much here. Now. And that is really the wealth I have.
Ultimately, my depressing health markers transform into new intentions. I rise from my temporary dark reverie to have a quick walk on my treadmill. I look out the window, witness trees swaying to the winds of a stormy day. I whisper: “this too belongs.” My temporary storm and stress dissipate and unspeakable peace, even joy, arise. Anicca!
This is the heart of Anicca (impermanence). Storms pass. Scans shift. Bodies break—but purpose endures. As Rumi wrote:
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
NOW WHAT: Your Invitation to the Dance
For Moments When Your Body Betrays You
1. BREATHE before you spiral:
- Inhale (4 sec): “This is here."
- Hold (2 sec): “This too belongs."
- Exhale (6 sec): “I am more than this."
2. LAUGH at the absurdity:
Text a friend something like my “fully depreciated car" analogy—shared humor halves the burden.
3. LIST YOUR LIGHT with Gratitude as armor:
Name 3 things that outshine the struggle (e.g., "Amico’s wit," "Juan’s determination,” “Myda’s aesthetic creativity.”)
For Leaders & Advocates (Walking Our Talk)
- Share your stumbles: Post your "BMI 25" moment. Vulnerability builds trust.
- Reframe "failure": Host a TLC team circle and call us for facilitation and coaching support: “What ‘broken part’ taught you resilience?”
CALL TO ACTION:
Let Your Cracks Shine
This week, I commit to:
1. Scheduling surgeries without shame- and journaling the lessons they bring.
2. Sharing this blog with one person who needs to hear: “Your worth isn’t your wellness report."
Now Your turn! :
Pause now. Place a hand where it hurts (body or soul).
Whisper: “This too belongs to my wholeness."
Move: Walk 5 minutes—not to "fix" BMI, but to celebrate breath!
Prayer is where we stop speaking to God and start breathing with the world God loves.
- Susan Grace Rivera
Posted: July 22, 2025
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