When Life’s Crossroads Leave You Stuck—How to Move Forward with Grace
Navigating identity shifts, aging, and uncertainty with Tai Chi Qigong Shibashi and The TLC Solution’s ADDCARE model
WHAT: The Crossroads We Can’t Avoid
My 92-year-old father, Gil, loves to remind me—when I groan about my creaky knees or new wrinkles—“From where I stand, you’re still a baby!” It’s our little dance, and his words always leave me grinning. Yet, at 66, I feel the weight of life’s transitions. Not just the physical changes (though yes, everything seems to be migrating south!), but the existential crossroads that come with aging, retiring, or facing unexpected turns: Who am I now? What’s next?
These questions haunt my clients too—whether they’re CEOs, frontline supervisors, graduates fresh out of university, or entrepreneurs staring at a reinvention they never planned. Even with resources and resilience, getting stuck is human.
The Healing Anchor: Tai Chi Qigong Shibashi
For 40 years, I’ve practiced Tai Chi Qigong Shibashi - a graceful, meditative movement system blending Tai Chi’s flow with Qigong’s energy cultivation. I learnt it in a “Care for Carers Program” then led by Sr Marimil Lobregat, rgs, of the Religious of the Good Shepherd.
Born in 1980s China, Shibashi’s 18 forms harmonize breath, motion, and mindfulness to reduce stress, improve balance, and awaken vitality. (Fun fact: It’s called “the art of longevity” for a reason—studies show it lowers blood pressure and boosts cognitive function in aging adults!)
At The TLC Solution, we weave Shibashi into our wHEW (Wholistic Health & Wellbeing) advocacy because it mirrors life’s truth: We’re ecosystems in motion. Just as human systems—teams, organizations, families—thrive when energy flows freely, so do our bodies and spirits.
Recently, while training Shibashi volunteers, I noticed a pattern: People struggle most when identity fractures. A retiree wonders, “Without my job title, who am I?” An entrepreneur admits, “My passion now feels outdated. ”A post-op survivor whispers, “How do I rebuild?”
SO WHAT: Why Crossroads Feel Like Crises
Life’s forced pivots—retirement, illness, career shifts—trigger what psychologists call “role exit” (Ebaugh, 1988).
When a core identity (e.g., “doctor,” “CEO,” “caregiver”) dissolves, studies reveal three universal struggles:
1. Loss of purpose (Harvard Study of Adult Development, 2018: 58% of retirees experience a meaning vacuum).
2. Social dislocation (Journal of Aging Studies, 2020: Losing work colleagues shrinks emotional support networks by 37%).
3. Fear of irrelevance (Stanford Center on Longevity: 63% of midlife professionals dread becoming “obsolete”).
But here’s the hope: Crisis precedes clarity. In Shibashi, we learn to yield before pushing forward - like bending a branch so it springs back stronger.
NOW WHAT: The ADDCARE Framework—Your Compass for Transition
In TLC, we reject one-size-fits-all solutions. Instead, we use ADDCARE, a flexible model to navigate change with intention. Here’s how to apply it:
1. AWARENESS
Pause and reflect: Where are you shining? Where do shadows linger? (Example: “I’m proud of mentoring colleagues, but I miss being ‘the expert’.)
2. DISCOVERY
Unearth your core:
What makes you feel alive? Try this: “If money/time were no object, what would I love to learn or share?”
3. DISCERNMENT
Separate ego from essence: Does this path align with my values? (Tip: Ask, “Would I do this even if no one praised me?”)
4. CHOICE
Commit gently: Start with micro-choices. (Example: “I’ll volunteer once a week to test if teaching fills my cup.”)
5. ACTION
Move, even imperfectly: Join a class like Shibashi, update your LinkedIn profile, or—like me—let your kids care for you after a café ceiling collapses!
6. RESULTS
Observe the ripples: How does your energy shift? Who benefits? (Hint: Joy is contagious.)
BE THE LIGHT!
Transition isn’t about “fixing” yourself—it’s about rediscovering your light and letting it guide others too. In Shibashi, we say: “The slower you go, the more you grow.” So breathe. Trust. And remember: Stuck is just the prelude to soaring!
Where’s your crossroads today?
Try one ADDCARE step this week and share your ‘a-ha’ in the comments!
Better yet, check out my youtube tutorial:
- Susan Grace Rivera
Posted: May 26, 2025
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