COMPANIES AND FAMILIES
IF I WERE TO POLL THE CEOS of the top 100 corporations in the country, I wonder how they would answer the question “How do you exercise leadership in your home?”
We always speak of leadership in the context of business, organizations,
countries, governments, political parties, religion, movements, and societies even. But in the home or the family?
Let’s take an important activity at the heart of every family: parenting. What is it about parenting that involves leadership? What is it about leadership that applies to parenting? Where and when can leadership and parenting coincide to achieve best results?
With most schools starting the new school year this month, let’s focus on one of the toughest parental tasks: preparing teenagers to make the big decisions as they enter college. I find that the challenges in nurturing our children at this stage are no different from guiding key talent towards realizing their best potential.
As early as three years ago, two of my children Asia and Amico, both in their late teens, had to think long and hard about what course to take up in college. For some, the answer to this question comes easily, especially if they have a clear idea of what they want to be when they grow up. That was the case for my eldest daughter, Ro, who is now in the field of communication. But for most, the process is not as straightforward.
SOME FRIENDS SAY I TREAT MY FAMILY AS IF IT WERE A COMPANY, AND THERE LIES THE DILEMMA.
Keen to help my children narrow down their options from a plethora of choices millennials in this day and age are wont to face, I embarked on a program that would facilitate this process. It is actually a simple one, pretty much what we do when we step back and craft business strategy.
We look outward to the needs of our country and the world, inward into what my children see as their strengths, opportunities, and aspirations. We look forward with our vision of how each can contribute to make the world a little better, and we put it all together into a decision with clear action steps they can take to refine their choices.
After going through the process, Asia decides to follow her sister’s footsteps and enrolls in Integrated Marketing Communications, and my son, because he dreams of being a teacher someday, enrolls in a five-year MA Humanities program.
Some friends say I treat my family as if it were a company, and there lies the dilemma. Am I right to do so? If some companies adopt the “culture of family” to make the workplace a more engaging one, shouldn’t the family start adopting proven principles of leadership with greater intentionality? If the family as the smallest unit of society can be transformed, then we stand better chances of changing our world into a far better one.
I recognize that leadership can mean a hundred different things to different people. Yet, to my mind, there are a number of practices that clearly distinguish great leaders, especially the transformational ones. Based on the ideas of James MacGregor Burns and Bernard Bass, a transformational leader is one who: (a) creates an inspiring vision of the future; (b) motivates and inspires people to engage with that vision; (c) manages the delivery of the vision; and (d) coaches and builds a team, so that it is more effective at achieving the vision.
On the other hand, some aspects of parenting are finding their way into the workplace. These include: nurture (expressing warmth, responsiveness, sensitivity, caring); discipline (dealing with appropriate or inappropriate behavior); teaching (stimulating learning and conveying information or skills); communication (language, conversation, story-telling); monitoring (keeping track); management (scheduling and completing events and rhythm of the household); and materials (providing cognitively and linguistically stimulating materials to the child in the home).
Clearly, leadership, in one form or another, is present in our homes whether we are aware of it or not. It’s good to know we can be better parents by becoming transformational leaders in our families.